Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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