Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
