i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
