is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
