Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
