wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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