You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
