BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
