my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
