Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
