it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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