I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
