That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
