in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
