we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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