Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
