you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
