mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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