i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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