then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
