Don't you send me to vm
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
