she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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