It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
