Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
