so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
