i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
