you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
