My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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