jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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