We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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