Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
