I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
