her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
