I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
