God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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