did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
