I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
