so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
