She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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