Can Purell be used as lube?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
