White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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