i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
