You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
