Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
