Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
