so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
