I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My hand turned me down
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
