white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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