I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
