I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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