I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
