I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
