Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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